


No Good Reason

by Tabithian



Category: Batman (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-16 12:42:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/539547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tabithian/pseuds/Tabithian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Does this seem like fun to you, baby bird?” Jason had thought he was past the Scooby Doo adventures part of his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Good Reason

**Author's Note:**

> It's important to know [that this](http://ameliafromaghoststory.tumblr.com/post/33748579939) exists. Also, sleep deprivation on my part, so. *hands*

“It'll be fun, they said.” Jason creeps forward a few more inches, uneasy at the way the surface below him moves. Water damage, rot, weakening it. “A real bonding experience for us, they said.” Jason snorts, pausing to look back over his shoulder. He can just make out the faint outline of Tim's form following behind him. “Beats hanging around the apartment and watching daytime television, they said.”

He bares his teeth a little, more annoyed than angry because shit happens, and he's made peace with that. The fact that this latest round of crazy is directly the fault of Jason giving in to Dick's pestering and Tim's puppy dog eyes is the thing that's killing him here, because Jason should know better.

“Does this seem like fun to you, baby bird?” Jason had thought he was past the Scooby Doo adventures part of his life. That maybe he'd moved on to a point where stupid shit like this didn't happen.

But no. His brothers thought it would be a good idea to spend a day together, but, oh, first they needed to make a stop by Gotham University to check on an artifact that had been discovered by the archeological department. (Why? Because something something something Wayne Enterprises, that's why, and maybe a little Jason should pay more attention when Tim talks about things like that.)

Tim cocks his head to the side, actually thinking about it. “We're bonding, aren't we?” The little bastard has the temerity to sound amused. “And don't tell me this is worse than listening to Dr. Phil.”

Jason growls because anything's better than that, and also. “This is not one of those two out of three is good enough moments, Tim. This is one of those how the fuck is this out lives, moments.” (This is also one of those of course it's an ancient alien device, and of course no one knows what it does until they accidentally set it off moments, because Gotham.)

Tim sighs, a long drawn out affair. Like maybe Jason's being needy with his desire not to have weird shit happen to him on a nearly regular basis.

“Jason - “

Jason shakes his head and moves forward, freezing when he feels the floor start to give way beneath his weight. He tries to jump clear, but it's too late, gravity and Jason's shit luck taking over. 

He hears Tim calling his name, hears others voices raised in surprise and fear and reflexes kick in, body twisting mid air. Everything's moving too fast, blurs of color and sound, and then he lands on his feet, stunned.

“Jason!”

He looks up to see Tim's face at the edge of the hole he fell through, eyes wide. 

“Run, idiot!” Jason yells, and takes his own advice, bolting past two shocked people, kicking up debris as he goes. Up ahead of him the door to the room is closing behind another student and he makes a mad dash, darting through at the last moment. 

Out of the ceiling everything's bigger, scents and sounds, and he hates what the device did to them. He's still running on instinct and seeks out the closest dark corner, a row of benches tucked away surrounded by plants and horrendous student sculptures on display. 

A few seconds pass before there's another round of surprised yelling that has him on his feet because _no_ , but before he can investigate there's the sound of running feet and a worried, “Jason?”

Jason abandons his hiding spot to see Tim standing in the middle of the hallway, ignoring the stares he's getting from people because he's an idiot and stupid and Jason hates him _so much_.

“Over here, moron!” But it's too late, people are looking and his hiding spot was only a temporary measure. Jason races to Tim's side and knocks his shoulder into him, “Come on, we need to get out of here.”

He pretends he doesn't see the relief in Tim's eyes as they run, eventually coming to an empty hallway. “This way,” Tim says, leading the way up a set of stairs to the next floor and another row of benches for them to hide under.

“You're an idiot,” Jason growls. “Why did you come down after me?”

Tim sniffs, like Jason's an idiot. Like there wasn't a chance someone would have had the sense of mind to make a grab for Tim after seeing Jason. “It was the fastest way to get to you.” He gives himself a shake, wiping a cobweb off his face. “It worked, didn't it?”

 _This kid._

“I'm pretty sure that's what Dick said before we got zapped by the alien device, Tim!” Jason is maybe more than a little annoyed now. “And now look at us!” 

Well, no, Dick had said something more along the lines of, “Hey, who are you - “ before the shady agent triggered the device and then, _poof_ , cats.

 _Cats_.

Now Dick is who knows where chasing after the guy from the shady government agency who had tried to steal the alien device. Tim and Jason are left trying to follow him and avoid being caught and sent off the some animal shelter. 

Or worse, taken home by some Good Samaritan and be forced to sit still for pictures or video that will be spread across the internet like a goddamned virus for people to coo over and and make stupid faces at. (Jason's seen shit on the internet, and it's at least ninety percent cat related.) 

“It was supposed to be a quick stop,” Tim says, and Jason really doesn’t know how they can still talk. 

Maybe they're talking in cat, and everything they're saying sounds like the Meow Mix jingle without the music to everyone else, Jason has no fucking idea.

“You're a fucking idiot if you ever think it's going to work out that way, Tim,” Jason sighs, butting his head against Tim's. “This is Gotham, remember? Murphy's Law is always in effect here.”

Tim huffs, annoyed because yes, of course he remembers. If anyone in their messed up little family has worse luck with things like this, it's Tim. “Dick will find him.”

Of course he will. 

“Why don't we see if he needs a hand with that, yeah?” Jason asks, because it's Dick and this day is already so far beyond going well for any of them.

Tim thinks about it, whiskers twitching before he nods, tail flicking restlessly. “Dick,” he says, because it's Dick and. No, that's really the only explanation necessary.


End file.
